Foley and McColl: This Way Up

Notes

This show was filmed back in March 2005 and was originally supposed to air some time over the summer of 2005.  It was filmed as a pilot episode for a new variety show series for the BBC in the UK but The Times Online reports that the BBC has opted not to make the series after all.

Transcript

Transcribed by Estelle for DanRadcliffe.com

Clip opens with Sean Foley and Hamish McColl sitting on a bench in a laundry room. Hamish is reading from a note.

Hamish: “Hang on; it says here that Daniel Radcliffe has retired from show business to pursue the career of his dreams”. (Looks up thoughtfully.) “Blimey, wonder what he’s doing now?”

Sean: “I dunno” (Looks out the window)
“Hey, Hey hang on you!” (He runs out of the room shouting)
“Hang on,” (Runs out to his car parked on the street, a traffic warden is giving him a ticket)
“Hey, Hey!”
“Hey, come on mate!”
“Come on, (Harry Potter theme music plays), (surprised pause) Daniel Radcliffe!?” (Laughter)

Daniel: (Very calmly) “Y-you’re in violation of the local parking bylaws”

Sean: “Ya, c-come on Dan give us a break. I’m only a minute over”

Daniel: (With a huge sigh and a smile he makes a fist and grabs Sean by the shirt)
“God I love this job Sean”

(Laughter from audience as Sean looks down at Dan’s fist clenching his shirt), (With excitement)

Daniel: “It is so real. Outside in all weathers. Pounding the streets. People shouting abuse at me. (Laughter) That’s real magic!”

Sean: “Huh sounds fun, huh” (laughter)

Daniel: “Come on then, give me some grief”

Sean: “Well OK” (Sean knocks Daniel’s Warden’s hat off onto the ground)

Daniel: “You can do better than that Sean. Come on!”

Sean: “What?”

Daniel: “Come on; really have a go at me. Come on!” (Daniel gives Sean a shove)

Sean: “Hey, hey, hey, alright right” (Sean punches Daniel in the nose) (huge laughter)

Daniel: (Putting his hand to his nose) “Come on Sean, I’m not even bleeding! Come on!!”

Sean: (Hands stretch out in front of him backing away from Daniel)
“Now come on, back off”

Daniel: (Pleading with excitement)
“Yeah don’t go! Don’t go now! GOD, I love this job!” (Laughter)

Sean: (Returning to Hamish’s side on the laundry bench)
“Uh, there’s nothing that boy can’t do!” (Laughter)